


Yamcha Saves the Day

by yamchalover



Category: Dragon Ball
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-18
Updated: 2019-09-18
Packaged: 2020-10-21 09:30:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20691284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yamchalover/pseuds/yamchalover
Summary: A surprising guest makes an appearance in the Tournament of Power.





	Yamcha Saves the Day

Jiren loomed over an exhausted Goku. “Hmph. Your friends make you weak, Son Goku. You little bitch. Having friends is for nerds.” Jiren lifted up Goku over his head, prepared to snap the fucker in half like raw noodles.

“That’s enough!” Jiren and Goku looked over to see none other than Android 17!!!! “I think it’s time to reveal myself”, said the Android. Suddenly, he turned into Yamcha! “WHAAAAAAAT??” exclaimed everybody. “Thank Puar for the shapeshifting lessons”, said our handsome hero. “Oh, by the way, Frieza. This is for Krillin.” Yamcha teleported behind Frieza and kicked him in the neck. An loud snap could be heard. A dying Frieza muttered: “how... did he kill someone who’s already dead?”. “It is perfectly acceptable to kill your own teammates”, said the Grand Priest guy.

“What the hell? How did you get so strong?”, asked Goku. Yamcha chuckled. “I’ve been studying martial arts on my own ever since that android fuck punched my chest in. I didn’t want to tell anybody because I didn’t want to come off as a tryhard dumbass like Vegeta. Fuck that guy”. “Why, you!” exclaimed an angry Vegeta. At the same time, both Zenos said: “We, the highest beings in existence, confirm that Vegeta is the biggest jobber to ever live”. Prideful and idiotic as always, Vegeta rushed the Zenos only to get fucking obliterated.

Nobody mourned for him.

“Now then, Jiren. Let’s fight,” called out our sexy bandit. “Little man,” growled Jiren, “do you really think you can face me?”. “Try me”. Jiren jumped at Yamcha and at full speed and power started attacking him. Yamcha could barely keep up and was swatted into that pillar thingy. “Just as weak as the rest of them”, said Jiren. Yamcha sighed. “I was hoping to keep this a secret. KAIO-KEN!” “B-but King Kai didn’t even teach us that technique!”, cried Tien, a weak, weak human. With Yamcha at twice his power, Jiren just couldn’t fucking take it. “And for the record: the ones who don’t have friends are the nerds.” Jiren got fucking eliminated and learned that friendship is the greatest power of all.

Hero that he is, Yamcha wished everybody back except for Vegeta and Frieza. Unfortunately, Frieza could never be wished back because his fucking soul was eradicated. He's a character I dig and all, but Yamcha wouldn't let a dude like that carry on living. “Yamcha! Please marry me and bear me many children!”, all the destroyer gods, angels, etc. cried out in admiration. “Sorry guys, but you’re just not my type”, he replied. “Yamcha, you’re incredible! You actually surprised me with how strong you are, which is the exact opposite of what my jobber sons do for me! We should fight sometime!” yelled Goku. “Sorry Goku”, said the noble Yamcha. “If I was using even one percent of my power, you would die from touching me. Jiren must have been holding back against you to draw out the fight, sick fuck. I could teach you guys some time though”. And then Yamcha went home to Earth. Bulma was actually happy that Vegeta was dead and got hitched to Yamcha immediately, him being a much more charming and handsome man. Trunks and Bulla seemed to like Yamcha a lot more, and people began to understand why Bulla doesn’t possess any Saiyan traits.

“A few years from now, I’m going to impersonate Vegeta at the World Martial Arts Tournament”, declared Yamcha. Everybody was confused, but we know what this means.


End file.
